First weekend Friday

This has been one long week. Elena said so far 7th grade is good but I don't feel she is very happy. This morning in the car it was total silence as it has been every day for her in the car except maybe the first morning. I ask her if everything is OK and she says 'yes, I am just tired' and maybe that is true. Maybe I read into things too much. God blessed me to be a Mom to one special child and I try to stay in-tuned to her as best as I can. This morning I was helping her get dressed and she put on a pair of jeans we had bought at the first of the Summer that are just too cute. They are too tight! She starts to cry saying she is fat. I put on my serious face and firmly said "YOU ARE NOT FAT" Elena is 12 years old and just now has reached over 70 pounds. I don't think that is fat. Memories have been coming back to me lately too. I all of a sudden heard my mother's voice coming out of my mouth and recalled that I too thought I was fat when I was a tween. I didn't reach 100 pounds until after I graduated from high school. I was not fat either. Again, I didn't give birth to this child but she is just like me. Unlike her though I was not a picky eater and I could eat anything I wanted and didn't gain a pound. Just like her though my metabolism was excellent. I also would ride my bike every where I went. Even would walk to school sometimes. That is when we lived in Greenville. When we moved to Simpsonville it was the bus for me from then out till High School when a friend of mine sister would drive us. Today the weight issue is a problem. Today I am fat. That is another blog for another time.

Last night there were distant sounds of thunder from what was anticipated to be a thunder storm approaching. Elena went to bed by 9:00 p.m. like we stressed over and over but around 9:15 she calls downstairs for me to talk to. I went to her room and she was crying that she was afraid that we would have floods in the night like those people she saw on TV (mid-west)and she would die in her sleep. She said I don't want to die. I tried to reassure her that according to the weather channel no rain is in sight for us and that flooding up to the second floor of a house that sits on a hill will be highly unlikely. I told her jokingly probably the dishwasher will have more water than it wants. LOL She laughed at that and wanted me to scratch her back. I felt the need to just hug her. I wanted to hug all those fears out. I prayed for her and she fell asleep. Elena is still a child that my corny jokes will work right now but soon even all of my good intentions of making her smile and feel better will not be enough. Reflections and realizations like that make you want to be able to freeze their growth for a while. It doesn't work that way. The children must grow up and come to realize yes, floods happen and yes sometimes in the middle of the night. We don't need to fear though and I want so much for her to realize she is a child of the most high and He holds her life in His hands. How can she learn that? From her parents. She has a good father but the mother has a lot yet to learn.

This morning as I was putting the clothes in the washer I look in our back yard and see a baby deer. All by it's self. I kept looking around for the doe but what was probably a minute or two. The baby was being very cautious looking for any sign of trouble but no other deer showed up. I took a picture of it and again I began to reflect on Elena and the comparison of the fawn and herself. Both are still babies and both are just trying to make their own way in this dangerous world will live in. Both all though they appear to be alone they have a caring shepherd who is watching over them.

Oh my I need to go now. I have a eye doctor appointment this morning. Have a great Friday. I love you all!