23 years ago

October 11, 2007 marks our 23rd wedding anniversary. It is hard to believe that 23 years ago we stood in the court house and in front of the probate judge promised to love and cherish till death do us part. Afterwards we walked across the street downtown to the Hyatt and had a nice lunch. Not much of a ceremony but this wasn't the first marriage for either one of us and we just didn't have the money to have a wedding ceremony. We both knew that the ceremony doesn't make the marriage but from time to time I do wish we had done something. I remember my Mom had a little cake for us and family over for a special dinner for us which was nice. Our marriage started out with me feeling guilty. Jim had moved in with me a few months before we were wed. So yes, we were living in sin. My outlook at the time was that I can't be a virgin again and since I was a marked woman because of my failed first marriage there is no reason to live out like I was pure. Jim on the other hand had been burned badly by his ex-wife and he trusted me for some reason. Yes, we were in love. I felt convicted by our lifestyle and as soon as my divorce was final we did make a honest woman out of me. LOL Would I have done things differently if I was who I am now then... yes. One thing that was positive and that was our relationship with one another. When he and I met it was under some strange circumstances. I had just moved back to the area from the low country of SC and away from a very abusive marriage. I swore to myself that I could never trust another man again. When we met all those promises to myself were forgotten. My divorce did not happen as quickly as we thought because the separation was filed in one area and I filed for divorce in another. Even though it was within the same state the different counties caused a problem. My wonderful lawyer did not KNOW this. I paid for my divorce working for my Dad and trying to go back to school. Our birthdays are in September and we met in September. We actually wanted to wed in September but because of that problem and there is a law about being legally married to more than one person at a time we had to wait. LOL

My separation was a relief and even though in my heart I felt damaged because I took a vow at that alter in my family church and mostly to God that I would honor him till death. I finally realized that this was not a unforgivable sin and that God will forgive me and so I asked for forgiveness and was set free. Sometimes even today the man haunts me in my sleep but I have not heard from him since the phone call that I received from him when he told me off for being 'rude' to the gal who he was having a affair with when we were together. In fact that same lady introduced Jim and myself. So what the devil wanted for evil God turned to good.

Our marriage is not perfect and I know that the things we went through then and even today is forming us to who God wants us to be. Happy Anniversary Jim, I love you.

Tomorrow, not only is the wedding anniversary it is also the day I get my stitches removed. My finger for some reason has been hurting today. I hope in spite of it all there isn't a infection.

This is a long one I realize and probably lost you at the first of the entry but it's my blog and I'll remember the past if I want to. LOL