You ever think this life is one long ride. Like a ride at an amusement park? Sometimes that is how I look at life in general. One big roller coaster ride that has it's ups and downs. It's thrills and chills. I am not real crazy about this ride right now. I would LOVE to get off now. Maybe at a destination much warmer, happier, heavenlier. I am still reflecting on my visit to heaven dream. I can not emphasize enough how much that one dream has changed me. I look at life differently. No longer do I want to be here. Want to stay in this land of chaos and not able to worship freely. I do live in America, but little by little the religious freedom that was so common, so popular, so life as usual is becoming something that I have to deny or hide. I am what I am. I do not push my agenda on any one. However, lately I am wondering if that is not that way I should have been. Because now it's like I am a bug that people want to swat away. I am not a confrontational person. I should be, because I do have opinions, passions and faith. Why I am so afraid of sharing who I am? I have family members who are not afraid, could care less what others think of them. Then I have family members and friends who hide behind others. I don't think I am that but at the same time my true feelings are not known. I am boring, not a squeaky wheel that will ever get any grease.
I look to my past and wish to retrieve the person I was then. The young woman who was beautiful, confident and did not depend on anyone.I don't have a bad life now. Time to time I regret some choices I have made. Yet, it is part of my story that I can not change.
For today and tomorrow I will strive to be better. To be memorable, to be the squeaky wheel that WILL get the grease.
2 comments:
You are not boring to me; you are a gracious, kind woman with a good sense of humor, a good friend to have. :-)
Thank you, Brenda. I really appreciate it all.
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