Yesterday, a day I will not forget

I knew it was going to be a busy week. Anticipating the six month follow up of a ultra sound test to make sure the 'benign' tumor in my right breast was still not questionable. Yesterday, that morning I looked forward in working with the sweet little children. One set of twins that is always smiling, and giving me hugs. One little boy always with a runny nose and constant need to be held. I was reminded to pray for especially to be prepared for what the day had to offer. I drove on to work yesterday morning and witnessed a fire on the side of the road and the fire department making it's way to the site of the fire that was very near a main road and residential area. The night before was a difficult night. My daughter is seeing someone who is a nice person, yet I am so very uncomfortable with them together. Late that Sunday night I received a question from her phone of how I felt about the young man. I could not answer it. Me and her Dad had literally sobbed for our daughter when they left us Sunday evening. I was emotionally ready and almost numb to what Monday was going to be as.So, that fire almost spoke to me, warning me that this was not going to be an ordinary Monday.

So, after arriving to the church where I was right on time, I was offered left over wedding cake from a celebration from the weekend and coffee from a mom who was going to be working with me. My supervisor though, moved her to another room up the hall. This mom, left her son in my care and my co-worker's. This same child was fussy on and off during the morning and I even changed his dirty diaper. The rest of the group were girls. Every one of them gave me hugs and smiles. Thought for sure this was going to be a sweet morning with the children. Then, all of a sudden without warning, the young little boy started to shake UN-controllably as if he was cold. My co-worker grabbed him quickly and ran him to his mother who was up the hall. One of the mom's who were picking her child up from the class the mom was at was there. She noticed the child was blue. She was a RN and gave him CPR. It was clear the child had a seizure. EMS came right away, asking questions as they whisked the child to the hospital. What was the child doing? Nothing, just waiting on his mommy, wearing his cute little Clemson hat just standing there looking cute.... life changes so quickly. UPDATE: he had another seizure at home, and was taken back to the hospital. I pray they find out what's going on with him.

As I left the church, I see a text message from my sister-inlaw asking if we were coming to Mississippi in a couple of weeks. Something told me not to answer, that it probably isn't going to happen. So, I went on my way to my appointment for the ultra-sound. Surprisingly, I was taken back very quickly. She preformed the test and said not to get dressed yet that the doctor may want to look again. I waited a while before the technician came back into the room telling me that the doctor was busy with another patient and not to be concerned. I felt God telling me to be prepared. Finally, the doctor came in, asking me right off about family history, have I ever had a MRI of the breasts, and didn't sound like things were the same from six months ago. It wasn't. The tumor had not gotten any bigger but the margin around the tumor wasn't the same. It didn't look normal or safe to leave alone for another six months. I am now scheduled for a MRI and a biopsy. I have to tell you that I was given clear instruction on the way home that I need to step down from the Guardian ad Litem program and that the Mississippi trip in March can not happen for me either. Jim and Elena could go at least. I did accept the position of being on the board at the college where my daughter attends to just send out get well cards to others and that sort of thing. I should be able to do that even if I am going though any treatment.

Another lesson today taught to me that one should never take their waking up each day for granted. My situation has given me another change in my destiny, my future. I don't know if I have cancer inside me, but whatever it is, I need to take care of myself now. I need to let those I love how much I love them. No more secrets, no more insecurity.

I told my daughter how I felt about the young man she was seeing. I am glad it's out in the open. I wish her guidance and peace. I know my husband is having a hard time with all this. It's changing his life too.

Keep my family in your prayers. I myself, could use them as well. :)