Since my last venting I felt it's time to have a more positive, more encouraging entry into this thing they call a blog. Why do I blog? I often wonder that seeing I am a private person to an extent. Meaning, I usually wear my heart on my sleeve when I write but if you see me in person you would find me a very private individual. So, why do I feel freedom in writing than one on one interactions? Maybe it's because when I was younger and was upset I kept a diary. Usually not enough spaces in those books to really tell it like it was but I filled it. I had one during the most difficult times in my adolescence and I believe it helped me through and also what I was not aware of at the time the Holy Spirit. I was saved right before the death of my Grandmother. I remember praying with my Aunt who at the time was sharing a bedroom with me. She had a small baby girl who also shared a room with us. It was talks I will never forget. Life changed for me that spring morning because the summer following I found myself grieving the loss of my father's mother at 11 years old. The chain of events took place in the order which was good for me. God had it all planned out.
Even when I made a horrible mistake in the summer of 1980 and married a man who tormented me with lies and pain, there were people who came into my life who God placed there to save me. Four years after I found myself moving back to Greenville and into a home that my sister and her husband had been renting. It was a small brick house and only 100.00 a month! Couldn't beat the rent! I was so blessed to have had that to move into. Thank you Jesus!
Went back to school and immediately met my husband now of almost 25 years, Jim. We were married in 1985.
Not much has changed with me now I am 51 years old. I still am vulnerable in trusting people when they flat out lie to me over and over again. One thing is for sure I have learned about what it takes to nurture a relationship. It's hard work and some times very lonely but it is worth it in the long run. The relationships I now have especially with my husband are treasures from heaven and I am excited in the new friendships I am making along this journey of my life. This season if you will. Wow, I just now felt very old! HA
Just have come out of the most difficult summer of my life. Not the whole summer but May-July was a nightmare I do not want to re-live. Yes, sometimes we are molded into what God wants us to be. I feel really 'workable' now. I feel like the clay of my heart is being prepared now more than ever. Trying to say good bye to the selfish me and say hello to the self my God wants me to be. Don't feel sorry for me, feel happy for me!
Whatever is true..
whatever is noble,
whatever is right,
whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely,
whatever is admirable,
if anything is excellent
or praiseworthy
think about such things... Philippians 4:8
Outlive your life!
Donna
2 comments:
Hope you got to take that road trip you were talking about in that last entry.
It's all a part of what makes us us.
I kept a diary throughout my childhood too! I share more in writing than I ever would face-to-face.
Now remember what Teisha told us; we are not old! We are in the 2nd third of our lives! ;-)
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