funerals and reflections

Been to two funerals in two days. Both revealed the same message to me. I am not living the life that reflects what I should be mirroring. What I mean is both lives that were celebrated reflected lives that loved Christ. Both lives had different mission fields but both shared a common bond... JESUS CHRIST! I need to do better in living out what I was born to do. I need to do better with sharing the love of Christ with the ones I love and the ones I don't love. At my friend's Aunt funeral today there was a elderly woman standing in front of me. During the last hymn God was telling me to help her to give her my hymnal that was already turned to the song we were singing. I told God "no, she's ok I don't need to do that" but more time went by and the lady struggled to get the hymnal book then she had to reach back for the program that listed the the page number of the song we were singing. I taped her on the shoulder gentley and handed her my hymnal after fighting with God in doing this. She smiled so big and said "Thank you!" and I felt so bad that I was even fighting God about this simple jesture that did not cost me a thing. My eyes teared up. How could I?! I am so glad I finally obeyed God and that she was able to sing "Blessed Assurance"... the same song that we sung at my own mother's funeral. Also, the preacher praying in this service was the very one that baptized me at the young age of 11! I wanted to talk to him afterwards but he wasn't around. Oh well.

Is it a sign I am getting old that I care how people will remember me? What will they say at my own funeral.. I just pray that they say that I only strived to do the work that the good Lord wanted me to do.

I love my friends. I love our community group. I can't really say I love my life. However it is my life and I must listen more to what is expected out of me.

Thanks for listening.... CJ this one is for you!

Donna